Educational summary based on Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari, compiled as Guidelines to Intimacy in Islam. For personal rulings, ask a qualified scholar.
Many couples are unsure what is allowed at different stages of a woman's life. Islam gives clear and merciful guidance.
During menstruation and postnatal bleeding
Allah describes menstruation as harm and tells us to keep away from intercourse until the woman is clean (Qur'an 2:222). This is a consensus ruling, and it also applies to postnatal bleeding (nifas). Anyone who did it forgetfully or in ignorance is not sinful. Someone who did it knowingly must repent sincerely. Hanbali scholars also require a small charity.
But the Prophet ﷺ told the companions to do everything except intercourse. He would have his wives wear a waist wrap and then be close to them. Scholars agree that affection above and including the wrap is fine. Some scholars (Ahmad, Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, al-Nawawi) also permit other contact between navel and knee while avoiding intercourse itself.
After bleeding stops
The majority say intimacy resumes after she takes ghusl. The Hanafi view differs depending on the day count and her habit, so couples in that school should ask a scholar about their case. Irregular bleeding (istihadha) is different and does not prevent intimacy.
Pregnancy and breastfeeding
Scholars agree both are permitted. The Prophet ﷺ said he had considered forbidding it during breastfeeding but saw that the Romans and Persians did it without harming their children. Still, ask a trusted doctor, and avoid it if you are advised that it would harm the mother or baby. Be especially gentle in later pregnancy and choose comfortable positions.
Why this matters
Understanding the rulings prevents two mistakes: crossing a boundary, and wrongly shutting out affection that Islam allows.